I have this philosophy about relationships. For me, every man is different. Every man is unique. Therefore, every relationship between me and a man is different.
I don’t go into a relationship believing that the new man will be just like the one before him. It is not a fair comparison. My current beau is nothing like my ex. Nothing like any of my exes, in fact. Not in looks or personality or character.
My friends know I have a “type” when it comes to men. My boyfriend doesn’t fit the bill and broke the mold.
Somehow, he found the key to the cage around my heart. But first, I have to tell you about him. You already know some of the things he’s done for me. Things he’s done with no expectation of a return.
Jay* is a couple of months younger than I am. He’s also a couple of inches taller than my short self. He’s got these amazing blue eyes that resemble a deep blue sky. He looks at me with nothing but pure love, not like he’s undressing me or that I’m a sex object.
He touches me with a gentleness that I had never felt before. I love curling up next to him, place my head on his shoulder and hold his hand. My hands are so tiny next to his!
Last weekend, I had missed a couple of doses of my medicine. Normally, my anxiety levels are sky high when this happens. I would have multiple panic attacks and a major meltdown. None of that happened. I was calm. I was at peace. He is my zen.
He has a daughter. She is quite a beautiful young lady and you can tell she is her father’s child. She’s about to turn 14. I made a gift for him to send to her. I haven’t met her yet so I was a bit nervous about the gift. I just hope she likes it.
Jay and I were just having a casual curiosity conversation. I brought up the idea of “hall passes” in a relationship. I asked him who his hall pass would be. His initial response was “Dead or alive”? I replied that it didn’t matter and he said he had to think about it. Later that evening, he said he didn’t need a hall pass and that he was happy being with me. I nearly cried.
We talk about everything. Nothing is off limits. Our conversations are endless. We even talk about our sex life. I think this important for any relationship.
This man is getting my heart. He is getting all of me. Does he know what he’s getting himself into?
When we are apart, I feel like a piece of me is missing. Like I’m not a whole person. Jay is an extension of me and I of him. Nothing is the same when we aren’t together.
I love his voice. He’s an incredible singer. As much as I love to sing karaoke, he is far better at it than I am. I love singing in the car with him!
By far, my favorite thing about him is his congruence. Jay truly cares for me. I can see it in his eyes. I can feel it in his touch. I can hear it in his heartbeat when I lay my head on his chest.
He’s turning me into a romantic. Whatever will my friends think? They can think whatever they want. Some of them have noticed a difference in me and it’s been good.
Is it obvious that I’m falling for him?