Imagine black swirling with white, playing side and seek in their folds, dancing in motions undefined, they reproduce a color duller than the most in
the color box, often ignored and left lonely by the vibrant red and yellow. Meet grey who never complains.
In our life we come across various situations and we are quick to deem them right or wrong or pass judgement on the people involved. We often see them as black or white. Either it is right or wrong. But we never stop to look into the churning grey in between. Life is very pleasant for such people. Always stagnant in their decision and not stirring to view the world from any other angle. Whether they are actually right or wrong is another story altogether but I envy their ease of deduction.
Me, I have always been trapped in this beautiful, deceiving world of grey. I see things that other people fail to perceive. I see the undergoing of a criminal mind when they are committing a crime ; what they thought when they were murdering that old lady alone at home, or butchering their lover, or throwing acid over an innocent’s girl’s face just because she said no. I am not saying I sympathize with them. What I am saying is instead of black I see various shades of grey, that I understand the happenings of their mind. I can visualize their aggression, their greed, their lust, their disgusting thoughts. It’s like I have an invading camera into their mind, feeding me live thoughts whether I want it or not. It’s scary, to understand the mind of a criminal.
Then there are times when I meet extremely good people, saints as the world calls them. Always helping others, looking out for their friends, assisting people in need. But here again instead of white all I see is grey. I can see the vile thoughts running under those sinless masks, the selfishness however small behind helping others. I see it all, the undercurrents running through their angelic brains.
Life has never been just black or white, right or wrong for me. I can’t help but see bad in good people and good in bad ones. It’s a boon and a curse to see through someone’s mind. I have got various shades of grey tucked safely in my box of life experiences. This grey play havoc on my mind, plays with my conscience as it pleases and leaves me dangling in between.
And me, I am always trying to navigate the path to my inner peace, to my survival. Always trying to find my way out of this trapped world of grey.
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