Are you truly in love ?

Are you truly in love

The subject of love has haunted me since the day I became aware of the concept. I always knew I loved my parents and wanted to be around them at all time but I never knew I could love someone who wasn’t family to the extent I ran mad literary.

Till this very moment, it chases me like sprinters on the tournament. Some guys I dated in the past were out of my own ignorance. There are certain relationships I shouldn’t have been involved in.

The shortest relationship I have been in was for 3 days and the longest was about a year and 6 months. Weird right but I haven’t gotten relationships right, it has been from one heartbreak to another, me trying to pick myself up after being shattered like broken china.

Or me trying to run away from a guy. it has been a crazy ride through the swing for me. I don’t have regrets though, I see all of that as a building block for me to stand up tall unto knowledge today . its a lesson which I have learned from and I hope you do as well.

What is love ?

Most of us wish for the telenovela’s love , we want Zee world love , we just want that fine Korean boy to come take our hands , look deep into our eyes and kiss our cheek, we want GU jun pyo in boys before flowers.

Are you truly in love? Is love a feeling?

Oh! I was like you, my dream was to be with a Korean boy, they are so sweet in the movies. they don’t kiss much but the little kisses gave me goosebumps, it almost felt like I was the one in the movie.

There’s this movie I was watching but I no longer keep up with, it’s been aired on fox life titled ‘ heartbeat‘. trust me I’m in love with the boy, if you see my reaction while watching that movie, I’m the girl he’s in love with.

Most times when we can’t sleep at night, we stay up late having all kinds of sweet fantasy about a boy, imagining him kissing us, holding us so close that we just smile sheepishly at the thought of that. To make it more interesting is when we receive a call from them. that call gives us a confirmation in our heart, yes he’s the one. I was thinking of him and he just called.

Wonderful! Other times we feel love is when butterflies dances in our stomach. I dated a guy in my secondary school, the first kiss I can still remember. I pushed him away because I felt butterflies dancing in me. It was magical but the next kiss wasn’t like that.

 Butterfly surrounding a woman
http://Unsplash.com

Love is not the number of times we call that person, it’s more than the number of gifts we shower on our spouse or the recharge cards we buy for them. Some guys after spending so much on a girl, they get this entitlement feeling. If the girl says she’s no longer interested, there’s fire been lighted upon their heads, they say words like ” after all have done for you ”

Such statement pisses me off like you did all of that because you wanted something in return. People no longer do things because of their nature but because they were expecting marriages.

You might be wondering then what is love if not the unexplainable feeling you have for someone you cherish and care for .

You are willing to do anything for that person some people might even want to die just because they are in love with you . this is an overdose.

If your definition  is butterflies sensation then I’m sorry to burst your bubbles, my butterfly boyfriend didn’t last, we broke up two months later. what happened to all the butterflies, I guess they all died, were buried never to return again.

To you who feels its all about the long calls , plenty gifts , dreams , I’m sorry to break this pot of tragedy to you . I dreamt of getting married to him, we could talk for about 20hours a day but we still broke up .

Love is what love does

Love is more than a feeling ,it’s more than goosebumps. Its more than the tingling sensation

love is work .

We all admire Barrack Obama and his wife Michelle Obama, we want relationships like that but we are not ready to put in efforts to make it work.

I do run away from relationships? What is chasing me? Is it love or I’m I afraid of putting so many efforts in making it work or I just don’t know why I’m in love?

For God so loved the world that he gave he’s only begotten son .

The bible verse above didn’t say for God so loved the world that he felt like giving us his son so he gave.

God gave because he loves us. This is the greatest love there is and it’s expected of us to love as we love ourselves.

With this, are you sure you truly love that person you claim to love? It’s truly hard to be selfless, we are defensive as humans . not that this was how we were created but one way or the other we tend to build up walls around ourselves.

Have noticed being defensive has built lots of negative feelings inside of us. some people can’t express how they feel to their spouse because they don’t want them to feel they are so attached to them, crazy right?

Some people have good intentions for us, they want to love us but they end up hurting us, why is it so ?. Why do we tend to hurt those we say we love? Or don’t we truly love them?

Is it that we do not know how to love? Or we don’t know what we want? Or we just don’t know what love is?

I have been in several romantic relationships. Would you say it wasn’t love at first? it was all lovey-dovey, some I even said I would name my child after them, some I promised heaven on earth.

But I tend to hurt them or they hurt me in the process. what happened to the love we professed for each other 😟

All these are unanswered questions which would be answered in the course of this series titled love

How can I truly love someone ?

Why I’m I in a relationship?

Why should I date you ?

What do I truly want , am I being realistic or I’m in a magical land ?

Love is more than feelings , its the conscious work you put into it that makes it last .

If we do not answer all this questions then we would constantly repeat the same mistakes in and out of our relationships and we might get to a point where we would give up.

Share your thoughts on this episode

Check out my blog https://timewithdanalyzt.com/are-you-truly-in-love/

5 thoughts on “Are you truly in love ?”

  1. ♡ Typical Relationship Conversation; goes something like this:

    ◇ Girl – “It wasn’t like that!!!”
    ♤ Boy – “Yes it was; here’s proof.”
    ♧ Girl – “FUCK OFF AND NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!!!”

    …remember Boys an Authentic, Genuine, Honest Lady is Worth Her Weight; so Wait For Her, which is Very Good for Creative/Sporting/Business Practices and Personal Relationships…

    …♡♡♡…

  2. This is REAL! Love is work, commitment and decision. Congratulations for this article. I agreed when you say it’s more than feelings.
    I used to ask my mom: How do I know if a person really loves me?
    And she said: Because is not going to be just word, there will be actions that corroborates their words. If you are sick, he is going to take care of you. If you are sad, he will be there to comfort you.

    Hugs!

  3. Real love is work! Not the butterflies and you hit that right on. Love is going through all the emotions with that person. Everyday will not be a good day but becoming stronger as a unit when times are trying. Wonderful post!

  4. This is perfect. You hit it spot on. I think every married person needs to read something like this during their marriage. Thank you.

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