It was a day of rain. The sky voluptuous with grey clouds. Thunder and lightning adding to the beautiful show put up by the heavens. I was enjoying the whole mood, when suddenly we- me, my husband and son decides to take set for a drive in the rain.( My son- a 3 year old- he does not have any other choice than coming with us).So we were in the car, in the rain and discussing all matters under the sun. It was not the rain that mused us, (as we are from a place called “God’s own country and the rest can be imagined), but the fact that in this part of the world where we lived, rain was a fantasy. To remind you – this post is not about the rain. So, we were minding our business, when I receive a message in my college Whatsapp group. I did my graduation in a girl’s only college, so obviously the group had only girls.
The message in short is that one of the ladies in the group missed her time of being dumb in front of everyone. She was done acting mature in front of every single person she crosses her path with. This pressure pushes her to the limits and this causes premature ageing. That was her say.
What I could estimate from this message is that she missed being herself. Acting dumb was just a word to hide the actual intention. So I backfired. With all the recent boosts of protons, that I got from numerous sources, I replied to her message. My sole intention being to release of the pressure, I countered her by saying that we need not “act” perfect and mature for the sake of others. It is just one life that we have and we have complete freedom to live it the way we want it. Be you all the time and let go the burden.
I switched off my Internet in phone and just enjoyed the drive for the time being. We came back and when I connected to the WiFi, I was baffled. What my intention was and what it did to all the members in the group was a complete contradiction!!! I was welcomed by so many theories of life that just left me tongue-tied. What most of them said is that for me, being myself is easy as I am living free with just my husband and kid and not the in-laws. But for most of them, it was not the case. They were staying with their in laws. They had the most contradicting statements. They had to sacrifice so much so that they have forgotten about the real them. They need to always act mature and aged beyond their actual age. For them, it has become a way of life. They are in a daily race to satisfy their in laws, kids, husband and the society.
After reading all these, I felt guilty of having hurt at least some of their sentiments. I immediately replied with a “sorry to have hurt your emotions” and gave an abrupt end to it. But after that I began to think. And I got a number of questions.
-Is it this way in all parts of the world? Or is it this way only in my part of the world?
– Does marriage really put an end to the freedom that an individual enjoys? (I know there are exceptions)- If yes, Why?
– Why does it happen? When the lady becomes a mother, why is it considered the sole responsibility of her alone to nurture the kids?
(There are exceptions here too)
-Who is it to be blamed for the loss of freedom? Is it the in laws? Own parents? The husband? The wife? The kids born to the couple?
-Who is responsible for the pressure of being mature all the time?
-Who stands as the strong wall preventing us being our self?
This is applicable not just to marriage, but any sorts of relations. No relation is true if it does not grant freedom- to be YOURSELF !! – That is my say !!
I know there are exceptions in all the above cases and the best example being me!! I have been blessed with a beautiful family on both sides that have always encouraged the real me. I act dumb (rather I am myself all the time) and I think that is easier than acting mature. I do not want to brag about the blessings I have. I just wanted to ask why everyone can’t respect everyone. It is not a big deal. And definitely involves zero pennies. After all, we all have just one single beautiful thing called “LIFE”. Celebrate life!! Enjoy life!!
And the questions that my mind asked me… well… that is left to each of you reading this. You can think about it, find answers for the same. You can change yourself or stay the same- Upto YOU !!!