That One Boy

By Sara Kenneth, India

 (A page of her personal journal…)

A million memories
A million feelings
A hundred songs that just bring
One person into my head… (And he stays there, like forever…)

Time never mattered…
Since the time you walked into my life, nothing has remained the same. Everything is filled with happiness and wonder, like a 2-year-old would find the world. Naïve and innocent, the world is a safe place. And you are my world. Not just that, but you happen to be my safe hiding place too. If we ever part ways, and I never see you ever again, I’ll take a walk down the memory lane, because I love bumping into you. Again. And again.

It doesn’t take me long to get all those feelings people inside books get, it just takes one smile or one look from you. And then, I fall in love you all over again. Sometimes I wonder if what I love most are your smiles or your hugs… then I’m stuck trying to figure out if there is part of you that I don’t love. The very idea of that is as vague futurity. Is it possible that you were made just for me. They say that right? That there is one person for every person. Are you my one person?

I’m just so confused all the time. And if I’m not confused, then I’m thinking about you. And if I’m not doing both then I’m just watching you smile and laugh as you talk to others. Sigh, how do I get you out of my head? I have a lot of things to remember, but then you swipe into my head like a gentle breeze blowing away the autumn leaves, and all you leave behind is another thousand million memories I have of you. I perfectly well remember the first day I met you. Since then, I remember lots of things about you. Your imperfect smile, your perfect jawline, your brown eyes… and before I know it, I’m just inside this place in my heart where you are there. Like the beats of my heart, you are just there, behind every thought, behind every word, behind every smile I smile and every laugh I laugh.

Even though you are there in front of me, you know nothing about it. But in my head you are a memory to whom I’ve bared all my feelings. And do you know the funniest part? I’m hopelessly in love with a memory. If I were Bella and you were Edward, all I’d have to do is change the words to, “About three things I was positively sure. First Edward doesn’t know any of this. Second, I really wanted to tell him this and I didn’t know how dominant that part. And third, (this is the only thing I wouldn’t change) I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.”

You are the first boy I fell in love with. Not just once, but over and over again.
You are the first boy who broke my heart (I bet you didn’t even know it and that you never meant to)
You are the first boy I cried over..
I love you all the way to the moon and back.
You are not the only guy in the universe, but to me, you are the only one that matters.

And I’m not ashamed of it. You are my dream every single night. You are my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. You are the only wish I make on every shooting star I see. And I love you. From the bottom of my heart, that is the purest and perfect truth. You are that one boy who is never ever going to come true ever again in my life… And you my sweetheart, you have no clue about how much happiness you have brought into my life. And for that, thank you. I will spend an eternity loving you, caring for you, remembering you, and reminding you that I hold you as high as the stars. The only stars that brighten up my entire dark sky.

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