At least in my dreams

By Adithya, India

 It’s been forty years now
since he came into My life,
now I’m sitting here
probably in my death bed
reminiscent of him
and he’s not here.

. I still remember the day
when he was born.
I had never seen someone so tiny,
Oh! He was beautiful,
I could look into his dove eyes
and forget about all the pain
I endured while I birthed him.

. I still remember the day
when he first called me Mamma.
A joy which I’ve never experienced
ran through my veins just then.
But…….. He doesn’t remember me
hence no visits.

. He has a life of his own
a life that came out of me
a life which I was a part of
but not anymore and
I have no claim over it.

. Maybe,
I wish!
But still unsure…
He may come for my funeral.
Or maybe he won’t
because maybe he won’t have
a clean black suit.
You can’t be in mourning without it.

. And maybe because
he doesn’t have any tears to shed
or a heart to love.
But still I wish,
at least in my dreams
I’ll hear his voice once again
……………calling me Mamma.