Unrequited Love!

By Ruchita Sawant , India

 I saw him first time at the reception when he was talking to receptionist. She gave him the welcome kit and showed him the way to the induction room.

I don't know why but I felt nice. I refilled my cup of coffee and left for my desk. After an hour, I saw him again but this time at my desk waiting for me to respond.

"Hi! I am Akash. Mr. Seth sent me to you and asked me to buddy up with you. Its my first day here." - He said and gave me a smile.

Before I could even say anything, I got a call on my office landline. It was Mr. Seth on the other end, he informed me about Akash, he also told me to help him in settling down. He requested me to go easy on him and I just replied with "Hmmm"

He was still standing, I asked him to grab a chair and sit down. I gave him my introduction, took him through company profile and his job role. I gave him some details and asked him to go through it. He was excited (everyone is on the first day) being fresher he didn't really taste how the work life really was and I believe so he was so chirpy. I ignored him and got back to my work.

He sincerely went through all the documents and asked me questions to understand things better, on work front I explained him everything.

Few days passed, I still see him the way he was on the very first day, he is still the same sweet, enthusiastic, energetic and fun loving guy. I don't like talking unnecessarily but with this guy, he made me talk to him. He started forcing me to eat on time. At office I was his senior and even age wise I was elder to him but still he use to behave as if I am younger to him.

Soon we started talking apart from office stuff, he made me feel comfortable with him. A year passed and we turned from colleagues to friends. We started sharing our problems, happiness, family, the things that bothered us, the smallest of all and the biggest of everything. Our understanding improved, we started talking whenever possible, our nights would not end without saying goodnight to each other and day wouldn't start without Good Morning messages to each other.

I never shared this with him or anyone but I always was attracted towards him. Same me who never let anyone come close to me is now falling for this guy. In our office outings too, he was the only one I enjoyed my time the most. I don't know what, when, why and how but I definitely was into Akash. This made me uncomfortable. I started avoiding him. This was also not enough. I became restless. I started stalking him. I started checking the unending chats, the pictures we shared, the funny conversations and everything that was associated with him. I was not me anymore.

He never asked me the reason. He never questioned me, may be he understood.

I could hardly control my feelings for him but I was always afraid of sharing it with him. I knew he too feels the same for me but is afraid of the society. He isn't wrong and I never questioned him. I knew he would never accept me, I knew his family would never accept me, I knew this society will never accept me for who I am. And so I decided to stay away from him and this so called society. Yes I love a guy and I am a guy....