Did you ever feel that the world is against you? Did you experience how life is so unfair and you have no one by your side?
There were days that we felt like we are detached from our world, thus, we create our own. Sometimes, we feel like we do not belong to our circle of friends. There were times that life is being unfair to us as if we are the antagonist of our own story. This is the reason behind why our faith gradually fades and why we don’t trust anyone even our own self. Even if we show how dauntless we are, there were days that we feel like there’s no reason to continue loving life. We feel like we are not enough for someone.
I thought before no one will save me, but I was wrong. There is only one who will save us from being drawn into something that we thought we can’t escape. Do you know who’s our savior? The one and only, God!
A year ago, I remember how many times I cried. I go to school but I lost my drive with regards to academics. I started doubting myself. I lost my self-confidence. There were times that I don’t want to look at my reflection in the mirror, because I know, that was not me. Every single day, the same routine. I’ll wake up, go to school after school went home and then cried. Until one day, I realized I have to end this. I need to find a way to at least lessen the burden I am carrying. I went to church and confessed to the priest. Then the priest asked me what happened. I never respond and then tears come rushing through my cheeks.
Then, when I had the opportunity to talk, I told him everything. From being lost, being not enough, being bubble-headed and whatever that characterized by losing self-esteem and confidence. After that crying and confession incident, I went somewhere at least to pacify myself. Then, I saw a family who was sleeping on the sidewalks. I saw how they took good care of each other, the smile on their faces. Undeniably, it was the most precious moment I ever witnessed. Then the little girl walks towards me. She handed me a leaf. At first, I didn’t get the catch then she told me that I should stop crying.
Then I realized, that the leaf serves as a handkerchief. I smiled widely and I thanked her for being caring.
We talked about their life, living at sidewalks. I went home, after that. When I was about to sleep, the smile of that little girl flashed in my mind. She’s too innocent living in this unfair world.
That’s not my main point here, but how God used that little girl to make me realized that even the world is so unfair, there’s always someone out there who will cheer me up regardless if he/she knows what I’m struggling on. There was a connection that became my means in order to continue loving this life and trying to put everything on the right path. It was a little bit hard at first to start my day until I used to it.
Perhaps, there were days that I don’t feel good but I’m always looking at the bright side. I thought I would never overcome that but here I am, still fighting the battle. I know to myself that sooner, I’ll be totally alright.
No doubts nor confusion.
I will have that strong bond and connection again with God and with other people who truly deserve my time and attention.