Cutting Out Toxicity

By Lelia Pagan , United States

 When your sister tells you to go kill yourself… she doesn’t mean it. She’s lashing out. She’s hurting. She has lost all hope, and her last ditch attempt at getting what she wants is a slew of hateful words that she know will strike a cord. She may not have meant it, but she chose her words and I find her responsible for that.

Does she hate me? No. Is she mad at me? Did I wrong her? No. No.

I simply gave her a thumbs-up and refused to entertain her toxicity in my life any longer. She’s my sister, my family, and I love her. But I will not sacrifice my inner peace by giving place to her noxious energy. This is more than just an incident, her entire person, demeanor, attitude is extremely damaging. She uses other people’s emotions as a scratching post for her own unfulfilled yearnings. That’s her coping skill. And that day, she chose me. From a thousand miles away, a few text messages later, and I became her scratching post. I was not shocked, as growing up, I’d often been that target. But we’re adults now and beyond childish bs like that … or so I’d hope, but apparently not.

If you have a sense that anyone is draining your energy, mentally cut the etheric, psychic cord between you. Be willing to forgive them for seemingly draining you and release the person fully to the light.

My reaction initially was a sarcastic giggle. It’s my sister, she’s just mad. Whatever. But those are some pretty powerful words: “you should go kill yourself” regardless of the reasoning, the intent was very clear. I proceeded to block her as a protection measure, disallowing myself to be used again as her verbal punching bag. I did not feel guilty...not one bit. I began to feel pain creep into my energy, and only much later I realized I was absorbing her energy, her pain, her distraught. It was intense. I collapsed on the couch, hysterically sobbing, shaking. I felt more than just hurt or general pain. I felt betrayal. Despair. Hopeless. Empty. Incomplete. Guilt. I felt angry. Angry that she would be so selfish. Even more angry that it was overlooked by two out of three other family members. Infuriated at her hypocrisy of Christianity.

I knew she didn’t mean it. I didn’t take it literally, though it should never be said to anyone ever… I wasn’t hurt that she wanted me to go kill myself, b/c I knew she didn’t want me to go kill myself. I was mad that she was taking out her issues on me. I was hurt that she thought it was okay to dump on me; and I felt her pain, her guilt, her disparaged spirit.

Though I’d never gone through what she was facing in her life, I could feel her energy, and was it quite intense.

The way people treat you is not a reflection on you, but rather a reflection of what is going inside themselves.

This spurred me to look into cutting the etheric cords between us.My sister isn’t a bad person. She has been there for me in the past, but she carries with her an entitlement that is corrupting to anyone in her path that she chooses to unleash on. I had to make a choice. Was I going to continue to experience her pain? Or was I going to release her to the light? I found this list of ways to cut etheric cords and applied it directly to my situation.

Ways to Cut Etheric Cords

  1. Avoid Drama & storytelling - I didn’t tell many people about the event, just two close family members. In order to avoid further drama, I blocked her from being able to message me.

  2. Mentally and visually karate chop the cord - I did this exactly. I’d actually grown up taking tae-kwon-do, so karate chopping was something I was familiar with. I visualized the cord (board) breaking in half.

  3. Intention and action - I intended to go on happily, choosing not to experience her suffering. I took action, as mentioned above, but blocking her from messaging me.

  4. Avoid non-serving people and environments - I refused to revisit the issue with anyone. Allowing her to influence me in this way was definitely non-serving.

  5. Stop thinking about the person - I released her to the light. I felt no ill will towards her, but I did feel incredibly free b/c I wasn’t absorbing her energy. I just simply stopped thinking about her. That may sound mean, but that was for my personal health and wellness.

  6. Do not investigate, follow-up, or stalk - I wrote about it. In my journal. And that was it. I didn’t look at her social media, I didn’t ask mom if she’d said anything about it. I just didn’t. Once I released it, there was no need for any follow-up.

  7. Raise your vibration - I knew that in order to vibrate higher, I had done the right thing by letting it go. I love my sister and again, am sad that she is in so much pain. But the freedom and peace that I feel when she does cross my mind, she does just that - crosses, keeps moving. I don’t let it linger. My vibration is heightened to where I am able to disregard anything non-serving.

I wish to free myself for all eternity from my sister so that both of us may be free from the past. It’s time to move beyond the experiences we have shared. I am thankful for what I have learned from her, both good and bad, but this attachment is no longer serving my best interests. I will not allow it to hold me back and affect my present moment.

I am at a point in my life where peace is a priority and negativity cannot exist.